rants and crap and general crap, m'hmm

hello kids, so i guess this "myspace" thing is really taking off and everyone in the world will soon be a part of it. well, i'm not one to let a good fad pass me by ! i want you all to know that i totaly have a profile and whatever shit now on  "myspace" !!! how impressive !!

i guess this is my profile ?

stolen! stolen! stolen! stolen! stolen!

today my bike was stolen ! "ss iminit failure" was stolen by pirates !! my neighbors cruiser was also stolen. i found the cruiser on a warpath of a quest around my neighborhood. i looked into all the ditches, dumpsters, etc. no chopper. damnit ! this sucks. it's kinda  cool that i built somthing worth stealing but that really doesn't defray the fact i am minus one chopper. damnit damnit son-of-a-bitch !!!!!!!!!!!!!

i am gonna start this off... ya' know what i hate ? or actually the recomended dosses of cough syrip. a teaspoon every four hours ? yeah right ! that's not gonna do crap ! if you can down a whole bottle  at once you're in !! a lot of cough medicine is like 30-40 proof. yeah buddy. pretty soon, if you don't yack it all up, you'll be fast on your way to happysville ridding the green death flavor deamon.. some say NyQuil tastes like absynth and being way cheeper i don't see a choice here folks. you can chase your own green fairy now ! so, re-cap cough syrip good, taking one teaspoon every four hours, bad. anything worth doing is worth doing right. hmm, if you mix NyQuil and DayQuil at the same time what do you get ?  a good time, any time. yee-haw !

Tory has been sick for quite some time and he has been following his own advice on top of the fact that he is always sucking on cough drops and drinking lots of mountain dew (it has orange juice in it) the poor boy is constantly in a daze, rideing in the car wiht him when he drives makes me nervous....

this sticker is on none other than the FRONT of my helmet. it says "front" with a helpfull little arrow. no shit !!  if you can't put the f**cking helmet on right you don't deserve to ride a bike. you basically have a 50/50 shot at this one. come on folks. really..

and what the hell is with this ? hmm ? ok so i took a dive off some stairs , but c'mon !! not only did i end up loosing a previously good tire and inner tube but this wheel took a big steaming crap on me.  wow, am i glad that there were a few people in ear shot and could see me othewise there was a pretty good chance that the wheel wasn't gonna be the only write off for the day.

?Hi everyone, I recently got a new car....you know one of those big things that you dont have to pedal and has a big cage all around you?? yeah one of those....it goes all by itself and it burns gasoline....a lot of gasoline, this was not just any car but it was the biggest car I could find with only two doors. It's got a 425 Cubic inch plant and its a model made before cataliytic converters so it'll run good on cheap gas. I think its one of te biggest cars in actual size to ever grace the highways of America (wich goes without saying its bigger than anywhere else) It's seats are more comfortable than any couch Ive ever owned and it automatically does everything for me except steer its got automatic headlights that turn on when its dark and shut off when its light and automatic transmission (I remember when Driving a car with a sychro mesh tranny was a luxury) its got power seat windows and door locks before any of that was common on anything and the antenna automatically goes up and down when the car is turned off and on, the trunk lid automatically closes with just the gentlest of pushes and I can fit an entire MTB in there with just the front wheel off no sweat. it comfortably seats 6 and is front wheel drive, I saw one of these things in a demolition derby once, it was smashed right up behind the drivers seat and just dragging the rear end around.....It is a 1978 Cadillac Eldorado. I love it. But theres always a critic "It'll pass everything but a gas station" "wow what a sled no one will think twice about getting in your way" and "12 yards long and two lanes wide 53 tons of American pride....Eldorado" (as opposed to canyonero on the Simpsons episode) at any rate the beast gets about 8 miles to the gallon it drives like a greased boat on flat waters it corners like its on rails (or at least has automatic air suspension) and its seats are as i said more comfortable than any couch ive ever sat in. But I'll be damned if people are going ot make fun of me for driving a gas hog... iknew what i was getting into when i bought it. Thsi reminds me of a situation similar wit tory in england Ill tell it and let him revise Someone says to Tory "thats a funny looking truck youve got!" Tory: Thanks her name is Lcuky they say wow its not even oen color in fact its 11 different colors Tory: yeah thanks. say....how much did you pay for htat thing? Tory: 2,000 pounds Loser: Wow you got ripped off I odnt knwo thing one about landrovers but that is waaaaaaaaay to much I wouldnt give 25 bucks for that hunk of shit look at all the dents! Tory:its my truck its what i wnated and i payed what i wanted for it! loser: where do you drive that thign anyway? Tory: anywhere I want to.....absolutely anywhere i damn well please. so this brings me back to me and my caddy......people say why did you buy that unecolgical gas hogging poluitng POS and i say so Ic an ride around in style and drive everybody wild and ill have the only one there is around. -Johnny cash Im drunk I love you people Klunk On OKLUVYABUHBYE

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